Sylvia's World...

Not in a good mood now.. everything is coming apart.. sumhow sometime i feel that i am a lucky person.. sometime i feel that i am a unlucky person lame rite who dun think this way.. just celebrated bday for one of my friend.. perhaps i am a sensitive person.. sumhow one way or another i feel that we are drifting apart... dunno why dun wish to find out why.. just wish to leave it this way as it is.. said hi to her today on msn.. but she just told me that she is hafing a bad mood and dun wish to tok.. i just kep quiet.. coz i dun wish to say anyting.. she had already indicated the pt that she dun wish to tok to me.. so there is no pt in saying anyting anymore.. coz it will just make me feel like a clown.. in a friendship.. what is right and what is wrong.. i dunno and dun wish to find out anymore.. in any case i haf already settled on the fact that bee ting will be my only closest secondary friend.. the rest.. those that used to be close wif me.. ultimately will be the ones who hurted me the most.. hmm mayb you cannot blame them.. coz it might be my problem.. given that all my sec school close friend are doin this.. but i am really tired.. i always asked myself.. did i stand by them when they are upset or when i know that they are down.. the ans is yes.. a firm yes.. i will stand by them when i noe that they are upset.. but i am feelin tired now.. the more i tried to stand by them, the more i feel that i am being treated like dirt and a clown.. I shall not mention who is that friend.. but if that friend so happened to be looking at this blog.. i am not trying to be mean by bloggin this down.. you noe me.. i never like to go to sore part like why are we drifting apart or why are we no longer as close to each other as before.. but i just wish to let you know that we are drifting apart.. i understand that this is part and parcel of time.. you get to know new ppl at diff stage of life and you drift apart from old ones.. but i am just upset wif the way conversation are goin nowadays.. seems like you are always angry when you tok to me.. and it seems like you are channeling your anger towards me.. for no reason.. Seriously i am tired.. i am not goin to do anyting anymore or say anyting anymore.. becoz the more i say it will just makes me hate myself even more for being a clown..