Sylvia's World...

Today is a very bad day... so this is how it feels like when you go on cold war wif everybody in the world.. you basically feel alone and depressed.. and tears wun stop.. it just keeps on flowin.. i had enuff.. i finally scream at my mother today.. i just keep on screaming at her.. askin her if she had actually heard what i say.. i have been saying things for so long.. had she ever put her heart into listening to what i say??... it didnt work.. she scream back at me.. tellin me she did.. but it nv seems that she did before.. when i am tokin to her complaining.. she nv seems to listen.. then is that call listening??..that she ask me then now she body pain who should she tell.. i mean shouldnt tings be one tings at a time??... i just cried and cried... i am really upset.. i am very tired le.. really very tired.. from supporting so many tings.. who can support me??.. nobody..

Hmm... recently my hm got cold war..shall nt mention who and who given that it is a v. political issues and i have declared that i am washing my hand off this issue because the reasoning that both party gave is reasonable but there seems to be no way to resolve the issue because both reason given conflict each others... being the nice middleman i am stuck in the middle and not able to move to either side to resolve the problem because both sides make sense!!.... Anyway i am not here to try and tok bout the cold war today...but to get some ideas into ppl's mind..

Family ties
How much do you understand bout this word??... does it means that it is just some sickening ting that relate you to your family mber??.. or is this ties formed because out of fate you are born to this family and that this bond is only truly established when there is love, care and concern add into this tie... thought i am a very negative person.. i always have this believe that family ties is not form just because you are born to be related to this person, but it is truly established when there is love, concern and care is added into this ties... For this believe.... i will never give up on any of the family i love... ESPECIALLY my immediate family... I would like to remind everybody that if they truly love their family members, nv give up on them... no matter what they have done.. though i always say that i give up on my mother and her relatives because i feel that this is a losing war.. i nv truly give up... try askin one of those idiotic relatives of hers to bully her lor.. i will jump on that person's neck and tear off all his/her hair..

In life, sometime we are so busy tat our family members fade into the background.. and we never realise it that this are the few ppl on earth that we truly care and will truly feel heartbroken when they are hurt.. so today onwards... try to appreciate your family more... Life is short.. by the time you realise that you should start appreciating somebody mayb it is too late le.. you may nv get that chance... why not start today??...
I would love to end this blog by imitating the very cute Stitch in say this sentence "Ohana means family, and family means nobody is left behind.... or forgotten"

Hmm.. recently someting inside my heart is making me start tinkin sumting that had been botherin me for a v. loong time.. okie i noe some of you esp bt.. is goin to slap your forehead and say oh no.. nt again.. er... yes.. er.. i started tinkin bout him again... er.. nt that bad lor.. at least this time around.. i only feel a mild heartache.. not a serious heartache.. that threaten to tear my heart apart.. sounds v. violent hor.. well.. i am listening to Xiang Qi from Jiang Mei Qi now.. this is my fatal song.. i will definately tink of him whenever i hear this song.. i count count and count.. it seems like i had not seen him for eight mth le.. goin to be one yr soon le hor?? Mayb soon enuff i will start to forget how he looks like.. i am tellin myself that nothing about him is goin to brin me down again.. but it seems like sometime it is really hard.. i am sure that definately i have moved out of waiting.. my life is no longer pending on hold anymore.. i have step out of that period of time le.. moving on and on.. but occasionally... these memories would come to visit me..
Sometime.. i am really confused.. whether i still like that person or izzit that i like the feelin that i had when i like him at that period of time.. Durin that period when i like him.. though sad.. everything seems so beautiful... my surrounding seems so peaceful.. How can you continue to like a person whom you had nv communicate or seen for nearly half a yr.. Okie if that person had loved you too.. mayb you will.. that is love.. but mine is a sad case whereby he dun like me.. i am a one sided affair.. that is not love.. that is foolish.. yet this heartache comes back once in a while to visit me.. Here comes the million dollar question that i have always asked on my blog.. how will he react when he sees my blog accidentally... and accidentally know that he is the main topic on my blog and he is the one that i had like for nearly two yr.. and he is the one who made me changed so much??..Will he feel honoured?.. i dunno.. all these questions can only be answered by one person.. and i doubt i will ever get a answer..
I am startin to suspect that my sis and bro will view my blog every now and then when they are in the kaypo mood.. haha.. anyway.. in case they are wonderin what is inside the plastic box with a purple lid.. it had a purple lid.. so you can guess lah it is sumting associated to him.. My sis once told her kids not to play with that box coz it contain my project.. well she is half correct.. coz i had stored everything about him.. including the tape interview we had with him and the dvd inside the box.. SO.. that box is not my project box.. that is my memory box.. it contain everything that i had hold on dearly about him..all the tiny little tings that i can collect that had somehow associated to him.. i kept everything in the box.. just like how i kept all my feelings for him inside a box in my heart too.. so when i keep that box high up on the cupboard.. that means that i am alrite.. when i take down that box.. that means that i am missin him again.. and the feelings is out of the box in my heart too.. I had this hope in my heart that i had nv admit to.. i really hope to see him again.. mayb i just wan to be sure that i had no more feelin for him.. or mayb i really do miss him.. or mayb i just wan him to see the prettier me.. i dunno.. one ting for sure.. he is no longer my prince.. but sumbody who had left such a deep inprint in my heart that nobody else can replace ever again...

Okie... yesterday i mit up wif bee ting.. to celebrate our 3 8 fu nui jie.. well we took this day as our friendship anniversary day.. we had known each other for eight yr le.. very long time hor??... Hmm.. we been thru sec school.. poly.. now work life.. and were there for each other while nursing a broken heart... We are not lesbian hor.. and i know that we will never be lesbian.. but just that we have already been friend for such a long time that we are so comfortable with each other that we are like sisters.... no hiddin of anyting.. Oh ya something to deepen the misunderstanding.. i received a bouquet of flower from her and she also received a bouquet of flower from me~~.. but as i maintained.. we are not lesbian... will try to post a image of the flowers on the blog sumday okie....

Kie kie that is all for today.. bye bye!!.....