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Hmm.. recently someting inside my heart is making me start tinkin sumting that had been botherin me for a v. loong time.. okie i noe some of you esp bt.. is goin to slap your forehead and say oh no.. nt again.. er... yes.. er.. i started tinkin bout him again... er.. nt that bad lor.. at least this time around.. i only feel a mild heartache.. not a serious heartache.. that threaten to tear my heart apart.. sounds v. violent hor.. well.. i am listening to Xiang Qi from Jiang Mei Qi now.. this is my fatal song.. i will definately tink of him whenever i hear this song.. i count count and count.. it seems like i had not seen him for eight mth le.. goin to be one yr soon le hor?? Mayb soon enuff i will start to forget how he looks like.. i am tellin myself that nothing about him is goin to brin me down again.. but it seems like sometime it is really hard.. i am sure that definately i have moved out of waiting.. my life is no longer pending on hold anymore.. i have step out of that period of time le.. moving on and on.. but occasionally... these memories would come to visit me..
Sometime.. i am really confused.. whether i still like that person or izzit that i like the feelin that i had when i like him at that period of time.. Durin that period when i like him.. though sad.. everything seems so beautiful... my surrounding seems so peaceful.. How can you continue to like a person whom you had nv communicate or seen for nearly half a yr.. Okie if that person had loved you too.. mayb you will.. that is love.. but mine is a sad case whereby he dun like me.. i am a one sided affair.. that is not love.. that is foolish.. yet this heartache comes back once in a while to visit me.. Here comes the million dollar question that i have always asked on my blog.. how will he react when he sees my blog accidentally... and accidentally know that he is the main topic on my blog and he is the one that i had like for nearly two yr.. and he is the one who made me changed so much??..Will he feel honoured?.. i dunno.. all these questions can only be answered by one person.. and i doubt i will ever get a answer..
I am startin to suspect that my sis and bro will view my blog every now and then when they are in the kaypo mood.. haha.. anyway.. in case they are wonderin what is inside the plastic box with a purple lid.. it had a purple lid.. so you can guess lah it is sumting associated to him.. My sis once told her kids not to play with that box coz it contain my project.. well she is half correct.. coz i had stored everything about him.. including the tape interview we had with him and the dvd inside the box.. SO.. that box is not my project box.. that is my memory box.. it contain everything that i had hold on dearly about him..all the tiny little tings that i can collect that had somehow associated to him.. i kept everything in the box.. just like how i kept all my feelings for him inside a box in my heart too.. so when i keep that box high up on the cupboard.. that means that i am alrite.. when i take down that box.. that means that i am missin him again.. and the feelings is out of the box in my heart too.. I had this hope in my heart that i had nv admit to.. i really hope to see him again.. mayb i just wan to be sure that i had no more feelin for him.. or mayb i really do miss him.. or mayb i just wan him to see the prettier me.. i dunno.. one ting for sure.. he is no longer my prince.. but sumbody who had left such a deep inprint in my heart that nobody else can replace ever again...
Sometime.. i am really confused.. whether i still like that person or izzit that i like the feelin that i had when i like him at that period of time.. Durin that period when i like him.. though sad.. everything seems so beautiful... my surrounding seems so peaceful.. How can you continue to like a person whom you had nv communicate or seen for nearly half a yr.. Okie if that person had loved you too.. mayb you will.. that is love.. but mine is a sad case whereby he dun like me.. i am a one sided affair.. that is not love.. that is foolish.. yet this heartache comes back once in a while to visit me.. Here comes the million dollar question that i have always asked on my blog.. how will he react when he sees my blog accidentally... and accidentally know that he is the main topic on my blog and he is the one that i had like for nearly two yr.. and he is the one who made me changed so much??..Will he feel honoured?.. i dunno.. all these questions can only be answered by one person.. and i doubt i will ever get a answer..
I am startin to suspect that my sis and bro will view my blog every now and then when they are in the kaypo mood.. haha.. anyway.. in case they are wonderin what is inside the plastic box with a purple lid.. it had a purple lid.. so you can guess lah it is sumting associated to him.. My sis once told her kids not to play with that box coz it contain my project.. well she is half correct.. coz i had stored everything about him.. including the tape interview we had with him and the dvd inside the box.. SO.. that box is not my project box.. that is my memory box.. it contain everything that i had hold on dearly about him..all the tiny little tings that i can collect that had somehow associated to him.. i kept everything in the box.. just like how i kept all my feelings for him inside a box in my heart too.. so when i keep that box high up on the cupboard.. that means that i am alrite.. when i take down that box.. that means that i am missin him again.. and the feelings is out of the box in my heart too.. I had this hope in my heart that i had nv admit to.. i really hope to see him again.. mayb i just wan to be sure that i had no more feelin for him.. or mayb i really do miss him.. or mayb i just wan him to see the prettier me.. i dunno.. one ting for sure.. he is no longer my prince.. but sumbody who had left such a deep inprint in my heart that nobody else can replace ever again...
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