Sylvia's World...

Hmm nothing to do.. so here i am to enter a blog.. notice i dun call this nonsense because what i am goin to say in the following paragraph is serious okie.. haha..
Well i had a gathering wif Ah Fa, Linda, Kai Ren and Tom on tuesday.. it was really wonderful... i really enjoyed myself that day.. it had really been a looooong time since i last saw them and going out with them really make me very happy... Then i suddenly realised that i miss poly life alot.. alot alot alot.. i came to realise that i wun really be seeing them so often anymore.. coz everybody haf already gone out of poly and will be leading their own life.. i mean when you graduate from secondary school and you go to either poly or jc thought ppl are leading their own life but the feeling is different because you noe that thought your sec school friends had their own friends but they are still studying.. now that we had graduated from poly and jc, friends are really going to go different path.... some will be like me... start working.. some will still be studying.. some are going to get married le and some had gone into NS.. i guess this is really a horrible feeling when you noe that you and ur friends are really going to go different path in life.. it is a sad feeling.. but life still haf to go on.. though you are going different way from ur friends.. at least there are happy memories that you can take out once in a while and tink about it..

Anyway.. guys.. i really had a great time on tuesday.. i really miss those days in poly whereby we will all sit at mensa canteen and gossip.. laze around and while me and ah fa will fight like kids.. haha... i was truly happy on tuesday.. and though we are going different path in life.. we muz still keep in contact okie.. (=

It is two in the morning and i haf decided to blog some nonsense here.. well this few days alot of things had happened.. I had already left my previous job.. on a break before i move onto my new job.. I am fine le.. really fine.. i no longer like him anymore.. those who noe who is he should noe who is he.. haha.. actually he was the one who made me realise that i dun like him anymore.. something that he did made me realise that he is not the guy that i thot he is.. like i told those who noe that i like him.. i will like him and fall sooo deep for him is because the feeling not anyting else.. now i realise that mayb the feeling is not rite from the beginning.. it is just that all along i had thot that it is the rite feelin.. so i allow myself to fall deeper and deeper.. nw and then i still feel a little bit of heartache.. but after a while it will be okie.. i haf decided that i will never fall in love.. because i feel that i will never be prepared.. mayb i am really searching for my prince charming.. the perfect guy for me.. which in real life.. how could anybody find the prefect guy she had been tinking about.. it is near to impossible.. i noe that i am dreaming.. tat is why i prefer not to fall in love.. it is better tat way.. there are still alot of things in the world for us to do oher than falling in love.. I decided to adopt a child in third world country not those that i brin back lah.. as in those that stay wif their parents but then i will pay a sum of money to them every mth for the kid's basic needs like food, clothes as well as food.. i had decide i want to do more meaningful things in life.. (=
Life had not been so light and easy to carry on for a long time.. when i like him.. the thot that we cannot be together constantly drag me down and made life a heavy ting to carry on.. i have decide to enjoy this moment to the fullest...

Second ting of the day.. just had a chat wif my friend(if you are wondering how cum i blog at 2pm is because i was chatting wif him till now).. he can be considered as one of my bestest friend in secondary school.. never did i thot that he can be my good friend.. haha anyway.. had a chat wif him.. catch up with him a bit.. did not see him for a v. long time.. Well he nagged at me to contact another of my friend.. haha *opps* hopefully he du get to see my blog otherwise he is goin to kill me for sayin that he nagged at me.. anyway he really did nagged at me to contact this friend of mine whom i am no longer in contact wif and is not on good term wif her.. but he feel that i should contact her because we used to be like the best bestest friend in secondary school.. yet we fall out with each other.. the reason behind it.. it is too long to explain.. but i guess none of my poly friend except zhuang hui hui noe about this story.. in any case.. i promise my friend that i will send her an email then the rest is up to her to see if she wish to contact me.. well but it is already so late.. so i guess that i will email her again tomorrow.. argh~ why do i always had to do tis kind of tingy.. It is 2.06am in Singapore.. goin to sleep soon.. Gd nite!

Hmm.. havent been really maintaining my blog for a v. looooong time.. ever since i changed the skin to this butterfly tingy... then i maintain for a while and blog consistently then ignore the whole blog totally... kie kie i noe previous few time i blog on some crap then stop.. kie kie some REAL updates about myself.. erm.. definately i am still abit upset... a little bit only.. not really tat much that i will fall into depression.. anyway i quit my job le.. okie before you all jump into conclusion that i am a bad youngster who waste her life.. i found a job before i quit my current job.. Well i really cant stand this job anymore le.. it is getting more and more crappy as days goes by.. so i decide i need to loook for a new job.. hey i am already a v. crappy person if i stay in a crappy job i will turn even more crappy.. haha... but i am still confused over my feelings.. i mean i should have felt v. happy when i leave this job rite considering how much i hate it.. yet in my heart i felt a bit upset.. i noe why lah.. coz my colleagues are v. nice.. I really cant bear to leave them..

Actually i should consider myself lucky that my colleagues are nice.. BUT fish got to swim, birds got to eat.. so Sylvia had to change job.. Or i stayed in this job, ee my mood is really very horrible.. it flutuate like nobody's business (thought it is really nobody's business) but this shouldnt be the case!... I will just flare up when some small irritating issue happen.. One person that i truly appreciate is Bee Ting.. she had been v. patient with me throughout this period of time when my mood is so horrible to face.. thought i reallly flare up she still patiently follow me home and tell me to tell her what happened because i will die of anger if i dun tell anybody.. which is true lah and to make tings worse she send me an greeting sms the day after telling me that she appreciate me as a friend.. Hey Bee Ting if there is anybody to be appreciated it will be me tellin you that i appreciate you as my friend..Hopefully the new job is sumting that i like.. then i will be happy everyday.. =D

Okie some updates at home.. erm actually not much updates.. here is some character that you will encounter at my home..
My mum who behavior like the empress dowager who will eliminate anybody who dares to challenge her(haha just kidding)..
My dad who is the acid generating machine who will now and then generate some high acidity content conversation with us ( i am toking about the truth, never will you see a dad like mine who will stop at nothing to suan us.. haha)..
My bro who is the big sister(coz every now and then he will bitch with us)..
My sister who is as veggie life as ever (imagine getting food poisoning after eating uncooked canned food)
Me who is the brat of the family (coz i am the only one who will challenge the empress dowager, suan back the acid generating machine, bitch back at my da jie like nobody's business and luff at my veggie life sister for the food poisoning that she gets)..

haha okie i am just kidding.. my family is actually not tat weird.. i am really glad to be born into this family.. each and everytime when my mood reached the lowest point, i will tink of them and i am able to brace myself up again for whatever that may comes coz i noe that i definately dun wan to see them truly unhappy and worried for me over some really serious issue.. and i noe that i want to live my every single day knowing that they are safe and sound..

Today is a v. special day.. i tink only Bee Ting will noe what i meant.. one yr ago today sumting happened.. though it is a v. small ting but i still remember it.. it is a piece of memory that i cerish and hold close to my heart always... i noe some of you might think that really got so serious?.. yes it is tat serious in fact it is not serious.. it is just something that i guess only i will remember the other party will not remember and something that only a idiot like me will cerish and hold this memory dear to my heart..
Din do anyting today.. just idle my time away.. doing nothing.. i am too sad at the moment to do anything.. and i dun wish to cry anymore.. after all this time of crying.. i found out that actually you wun feel better after crying... ppl always say that if you are upset.. cry out loud.. after that you will feel soooo much better.. in the past it did work.. now it dun anymore.. no matter how many time i cry or how loud i cry.. i will still feel that lousy after crying.. but the next time tears will still flow freely.. i noe that tears are free, but after all this crying it just make my tears seems worthless.. if a woman's tears is really precious.. i guess mine had already lost its value over time..
I feel like confessing to him.. but i dun haf the courage and i dun want to lost him as my friend.. but life is already unbearable.. it is getting really sad for me to move on.. everything around me reminds me of him.. but i noe that it is impossible between the two of us.. mayb i will do a confession here.. then one day while he is surfin the net and he will so happened to come across this blog and see this confession and start luffin at how silly it is.. but i still wish to tell you.. yes you the idiot.. who made me suffered so long.. i really like you.. really really like you.. sometime i really hope that i can be together with you.. but i noe that it is impossible.. among so many girl that you have met i am just somebody who had cross path with you.. i will just blend into the crowd and fade into the background as time goes by.. you will never know how big a impact you made on my life.. you gave me a heartache that is so big that i find life unbearable.. but i had never regret knowing you.. because it is you who made me change.. knowing you is a memory that i wish to remember as much as i wish to forget.. it is amazin how you can just stand or sit beside me and my heart will feel as it is goin to jump out any moment or my emotion will be riding a roller coaster.. yet all this while you noe nothing though you are just beside me.. if given a choice i really dun mind following you to any part of the world.. but i am also aware that even if you are really goin to any part of the world you will never chose me as ur companion.. i am just day dreaming... I always wonder what are you doing now.. are you happy??.. dun be unhappy okie.. I will always support you in the decision you make okie..

*Miss My Prince*

I have having a super bad headache today.. coz i slept late last nite.. was watching My Date With A Vampire 3.. this is my least favorite among the three series.. because Wang Zhen Zhen is not inside!!... okie i noe that Wang Zhen Zhen is super irritating because she always come in between Ma Xiao Ling and Kuang Tian You, but why this show is so nice because in the first series.. it talks about the fate between Wang Zhen Zhen and Yamamoto Katsuo. It is sooo nice.. though Wang Zhen Zhen does not like him but then he still loves her and utimately they both of they sort of get together thought they died.. but it is because they are fated to be together and that is one of the point that make this how so nice.. because they have qian shi qing yuan.. THEN suddenly in this third series, there is no more Wang Zhen Zhen to be together with him.. instead the Wanyuan Bupo is in love with Yue YinPing and in the end with Goddness of Yaochi.. argh~ what happened to the qian shi qing yuan between him and Wang Zhen Zhen... i dun like!.. But being a My Date With A Vampire Encyclopedia i will still watch it.. haha...

Anyway i went out with my poly friend during saturday.. had dinner with them.. enjoyed myself thought some of the members are not there.. and there is only the two of us.. Fahee and me clowning around.. well it is always the two of us clowning around since nw Zhuang Hui Hui is in australia studying.. Really hope that there is more of this kind of outing the future.. I really miss poly life whereby life has not tat much worries and we can just slack at TP campus..

While i was going home i was super unhappy.. i found that Singaporean are super unpolite.. i was standing at the bus stop there and yet they cant see me.. have to knock me.. i was so frustrate that i tell myself i will scream at the next person who is goin to knock me again.. i really dun understand what is wrong with this ppl.. at least if they had not do this kind of ting the world will be a more pleasant place to live in.. and when i take mrt i see that youngsters are sitting and pretending to not see anything while old ppl are standing.. are this youngsters blind or anyting?.. or mayb they dun have a brain to think... are they so desperately in need of the seat?... i dun believe they are.. this is so stupid.. no matter how smart this ppl are so long as they have not basic manners to give up their seats to old people they are still stupid...

Hmm.. i found that i have been complaining alot in the two para that i had typed above.. what to do.. haha i had observed this behavior for a v. long time... been tinking of bloggin it down for a looong but i was too lazy.. since now i am bloggin.. why not just blog everything down.. haha...

Kie kie no more complain le.. complain somemore and i will turn into a grumpy old lady even before i turn old.. haha

Haiz.. this few days... i keep on tinking.. tink and tink and tink.. yet i still cant come to a conclusion.. i guess i had really killed alot of brain cells this few days... i really really really dunno what to do... i guess when life ends up like mine.. it can get pretty sad.. when i am stuck at my this job.. i keep on grumbling that i wan to get out.. fine now i have a chance to get out.. and yet my tinking swing from one pt to another day and nite.. at work i m so determine to get out of my current job.. then when i am at home or alone.. i tink that mayb tat new job offer is not suitable for me...

Argh~ can sumbody tell me.. is there something wrong wif my life or am i just trying to be funny by torturing myself day and nite tinking about this issue.. on top of all the endless frustrating issue that i had to tink about.. now i noe.. that responsibilities is really something that is v. difficult to handle.. I used to tink responsibilities arh.. okie lor no matter how big the responsibilites is.. so long as i am strong willed i am able to handle it.. NO i am wrong!!.. it is only when i start working then i know.. responsiblities is something that is very difficult to handle.. i something really wish that i had no responsiblities.. i am really v. tired from all this issue at hand.. i really dun wish to tink about anything anymore... my colleague asked me did i asked my parents what do i want to do.. i told her no.. my life is my own i should handle it.. actually somehow i wish that they could help me to solve all my problem.. but i know that i shouldnt be adding problem to their life.. therefore i chose not to tell them.. whatever decision i make i will bear the responsiblities and miseries that come along with it.. i shouldnt add this problem to my parents and let them face it just because i dont wish to face it myself..

Well after typing so much rubbish.. i still had not come to a decision.. my friend will always look be v. impressed with me because i will always resolve decision like where to go with a scissor paper stone game.. they feel that i am too childish, but sometime wun it be nice to just tink of something to come out with a decision even if it is a v. childish way.. wat matter is that at the end the problem is solved in a v. simple way.. seriuosly i really thot of coming to a decision of staying at my current job or going to the new one with a scissor paper stone game.. but then i noe that i cant do it.. life is not always tat simple.. but seriously what should i chose??...Stay or Go i really dunno.... argh~.. somebody please help me....