Sylvia's World...

hmm.. havent been bloggin for the past three days.. erm got alot alot of things in mind that i wish to say out.. but then i am tired.. to tired to wan to say them out.. i guess i am really afraid of the future that is y i am chosing the silent approach.. i have sooo much things that i wan to say out.. so much thots so much reasons of why i chose the different option.. yet.. i am afraid i am not confident of the future.. or i just dun wish to move on.. that is y i am avoiding and not talking about it.. would rather chose to remain silent rather than take my usual approach of toking, explaining to ppl why i do this and do that.. just let ppl keep on asking me bout i just keep quiet.. i guess this is because everything is happening at a very fast pace.. from graduating till now searching for jobs.. it is happening too fast.. give me some time.. give me some time to adjust to the current situation.. then i will move on and tell everybody in the what is my plan... haizz.. another matter that i have in my mind is well.. haha always the same matter lor.. haha

Hmm feeling extremely emotional in the morning.. just receive a notice that i might need to go for an interview tomorrow... this indicate that i have to take a major step out of my life le... taking up a permanent job and finally join the working society... doing my temp job now makes me do some serious thinking about what kinda job i wan to do.. i really like it here.. ppl here are nice.. and it is REALLY NICE okie.. but i just dunno what they are doing.. i guess their field of job are too chim for me to understand so now i have to start again.. goin to a place whereby i absolutely dunno the colleague there at all.. haizz.. my cousin and i share the sama same sentiments.. for her case it is because she dunno the overall pic of the org.. so she is not happy working there too.. it just send me tinking about another issue.. are we the so call bunch of youngsters who are very chosy about their jobs.. i remember readin an article stating that nowadays youngsters are like oyster.. i dunno why oyster.. mayb after i refer back to the article i will blog down the reason why.. but then it seems like nowadays youngsters are very chosy about their jobs.. what is their job scope.. their pay and what they are supposed to do.. haha i dunno for those youngsters.. but i guess for my cousin and my case.. we just want to find a job whereby we are interested in workin in.. i guess when you dun really understand the ting tat you do.. that is really a problem.. and i mean what ppl dread most is to be stuck in a job whereby they have no interest at all.. all i ever want is to have a job that i enjoyed workin.. i dun mind running out or wat.. but then so long as it is a job i enjoy i tink i wun mind... i dunno if this is considered chosy or not.. but oh well.. life have to go on.. birds gotta eat, fish gotta swim.. i dun care what other ppl tink.. so long as i leave a honest life.. and treat ppl honestly.. i guess i have nothin to be afraid of...

This morning on my way to work i saw this cat lying in the middle of the expressway.. guess it is already dead.. and then a van ran over it's body.. I feel so sad for it.. i mean.. everything is a life and nothing deserve to die.. no matter it is a human or a animals.. ppl may not feel the sadness or lost when an animal is dead.. but very much like us.. it is alive and a part of this world.. i dunno how many cars is going to run over its body before somebody decide to remove the body away.. but i also cant blame anybody because its body is right in the middle of the expressway.. which is v. difficult for people to stop and remove its body.. Haizz.. lets us all mourn for the poor animal.. may it find peace in wherever it is now...

I dunno what happened to me.. but then a surge of depression just suddenly overcome me.. i think it have sumting to do with my work.. seriously i have nice colleague who are very very nice to me.. but i guess i am just upset wif myself... i have started work for around 1 mth.. yet i cant really do productive work.. so far i have not produce a really good piece of work to one of my colleague and it is making me very upset with myself.. wat is wrong wif me??.. why cant i produce a productive piece of work... i dunno.. guess i am seriously upset wif myself for not being to do work properly.. haizz...

Hmm.. today is monday.. BUT i feel tired...due to lack of sleep.. the weather outside now is sooo nice for sleeping.. but i am working... haha... argh.. helpin i am struggling to keep my eyelids open.. falling asleep soon... z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.

Mayb it is due to the weather or due to lack of sleep or pms but i am definately not in a good mood now.. feeling extremely hot and irriated.. i feel so tired.. i just dunno why.. every week end.. in the morning there would definately be phone calls... y cant this phone calls cum later.. at least let me have a good sleep before disturbin me??.. is it not possible.. and when i start bitching about it.. ppl would think that i am a bitch who is not contented wif life?.. but aint i contented with life??.. i just want ppl to leave me alone when i am in a bad mood or when i am sleep is it tat hard??... argh!!... feeling damn fuck up now...