Sylvia's World...

Notice the question mark instead of exclaimation mark.. it is another unhappy cny.. yes another one...

It all started with CNY eve when my mum got angry over i dunno what issues... but i do suspect is because we did not have reunion dinner with her on CNY eve.. BUT she was the one who said that we should have reunion dinner earlier so that the rest of us can proceed to our in-law (for those who are married) place to eat... And i suspect is also because this year she did not get to ask her relatives to come and eat so she is unhappy... so she got angry...refuses to function properly like how a mum should function... and i had to rush down to chinatown at 11pm to buy one of the item for her prayer... and then spend money to get a yu sheng to come back and lou hei with her so that she will be happy for CNY and my dad wun suffer and all of us wun have to suffer...

Then she is happy and everybody is happy yesterday.. but there was some small issue because there is a nian gao frm crytal jade that i have purchased originally for TFB's family... and since that nian gao cannot be kept for more than a week... so i decide to purchase a new one for them when i go over on new year eve so that they can keep longer and at the same time asked my mum to cook the nian gao during one of the friday when everybody is coming over for dinner but she did not do it.. okay fine... then i told her in the car yesterday that please cook the nian gao tomorrow when all her relatives are visiting so that everybody can eat the nian gao.. and then.. her son... has to add in a statement saying that who is gonna eat the nian gao.. Isnt it kinda stupid to asking this question given that nian gao are being sold during CNY.. OBVIOUSLY it is for eating during CNY right?.. and OBVIOUSLY if you have a big bunch of peps visiting ur house you should cook the nian gao for this bunch of relatives because itis a CNY food and since you nd to cook for them then it is no harm in cooking the nian gao right?... It is a stupid, senseless and just trying to find problem with me questions... OBVIOUSLY i dunno what did i oh sorry.. we because eat bread kena from his bitch fits quite often too.. did to offend him so seriously that he has to menopause on us all the time.. then you see him being very nice to his cousin... because i think he felt that his cousin is nicer to him??.. but whatever lah.. i am sick and tired so dun expect me reach him during leisure time..

So today.. second day of CNY... ONCE AGAIN she did not cook the nian gao.. and what did i do?.. i throw it away.. because she told me to keep it in the fridge and if i really do... she will complain to her son in the near future and i can sense that her son is gonna take out the whole set of menopause and scold the bloody hell out of me.. and lecture me on whatever thing that he can lecture me on.. mayb even lecturing me that my face is of the wrong arrangement?.. Given that he can pick on me on soooo many things nowadays then he even said that the number one wrong thing that TFB has done is to know me and get into a relationship with me?... so i threw the fish away... yes... to some extend it is my fault that i should push things that are meant for other people to them because i am gonna buy a new one for them... but it is not that i have not done anything for this family and just anyhow push second hand cheap stuff to them all the time.. So why this lousy attitude from them all the time?... I am tired... i have money.. i am willing to share... i have problem i am willing to hide... i have happiness... i try to spread it around... i have ability i try to gel the family together... so what in the freaking world have i actually freakingly done wrong to deserve such lousy attitude?... i dunno... and i dun care ANYMORE..

But from this and past lesson.. i realise that it might be in the gene of my mum to create trouble during CNY given that her side also always have problem during CNYwhen my grandparents are still alive.. so i realised that given that my temper is so like my mum.. i might just create trouble for my kids and husband in the future!...

I really dun want my kids to be unhappy in the future... like how unhappy i am with the feeling that i am feeling that i have try for all i can to creat happiness and yet i failed.. and all the arrow shoot towards me.. I really dun wan these to happen... i want to give my kids and my husband a normal family.. i dun wanna be a malfunctioning mum to my kids and let them have a bad impression of me.. sigh...

hmm.. as the CNY approaches... it is time to dye my hair again... so what colour shall i dye?.. This is a no brainer question because the number one colour that i would chose is red... for.. once you have dyed red.. and saw the superb end result.. you will never settle for anything less or less red in my case... so every year without question.. it is a struggle of dying my hair red.. then losing the colour gradually over a loooong period of ONE WK...

I am determined that this year.. my redness will stay longer... well.. given that CNY is on 26 Jan.. there seems like nearly two wks more for me to laze around before dying my hair because i really dun wan my hair to look like some type of washed out red on CNY itself... so i have decided (after securing a low price with the hair saloon auntie) that i will dye my hair closer to CNY.. say mayb the Friday just before CNY?... But then eat bread ask me to dye my hair this saturday.. oh man... you noe eat bread.. the temptation of dying my hair this wkend is great because newly dyed hair always give people a very fresh look and in the name of vanity who wun wanna look good and feel good all the time right?.. Like can stand in front of the mirror for fifteen min to admire my own beeeautiful rrrrrrrred hair...

But the million dollar question here is if i dye my hair now... will it look washed out on CNY.. haiya haiya i really dun wanna look like i have a head of washed out hair on CNY leh.. but i really wanna dye my red too... then how... i also dunno... shall struggle until wkend and update again next wk on this issue...

After much promo by didi and his mum... i have finally watched ming zhong zu yi wo ai ni.. and fell in love with this song...

Have you ever have that type of feeling when you hear a song and you tell yourself.. mm.. i think this is the saddest song that i have ever heard?... I do... and i think my song always outsad the previous song... so exactly which song is the saddest?.. But who cares if the song is nice right?..

半情歌

花接受凋零
风接受追寻
心的伤还有一些不要紧
我接受你的决定

你将会被谁抱紧
唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了
伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌

你将会被谁抱紧
唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐
不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌时
间把习惯换了
伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌

我的明天快不快乐
都是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌

时间把习惯换了
伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
另一半的歌

Okay.. this entry is late by *see calendar* six days.. but it is better late than never right?...

Well... i have to say that 2008 actually fly by faster than a bullet train and before i really really got a chance to sink into the fact that it is 2008... it is already nov!!!... gosh.. where did all the months went too??...

Major happening in 2008... hmm.. hmm.. think.. think.. think...

I got myself a proposal.. that should be the MAJOR happening ba... for those of you who think that once you get a proposal it is happily ever after.. i am sorry to burst your bubble by telling you that NO!.. it doesnt function that way... yes true enuff getting a proposal is good because you are gonna get married, be somebody else mrs and not gonna stay single for the rest of your life.. but then my proposal happiness lasted for like one weeks then after that it is down to looking through wedding packages, getting worried over money issues and housing issues....
BUT i have never regret it because it is the way it is... the proposal and getting married is the main issue here... the money issues lah, all the negative issues are all obstacles for you to overcome so that your love for each other will grow and be stronger...

My best buddy got married... ^_^ okay.. actually.. he and his mrs got married two years ago.. but they just held their wedding banquet like two months ago (please dun slap me if i got the month wrongly okay??.. right.. as if he will ever read this blog in the first place since he doesnt even noe i have a blog!... ahahahahahhaha) i am soooooooo happy for them... i think i must have repeated that i am sooo happy for them phrase for so many times to them that i think they think that i am drunk both at their rom ceremony and at the wedding dinner... but still i am REALLY happy that the both of them are married.... My buddy actually went through alot when we were still in constant contact and even though we have not been contacting each others alot nowadays since we dun really have a gang of friends anymore and we have gone on to know other new friends, made other buddies and form other regular group of hanging out friends... i still care for him alot... and i am really glad that his other half who completed him as a human being.. haha.. is a very very sunshine lady... ^_^ I really hope to hear baby crying soon ~

Third happenings will be... i successfully declare war with my cousin!... and when i mean war.. i mean real war... it is actually a very person thing that happened because of our wedding dates clashes... but hopefully and i really mean HOPEFULLY we have truly resolved all conflict now...

Seems like alot of stuff happened in 2008 hor?.. like i said that nt much happen but then still alot of stuff happened right?.... 2007 was a phrase of self discovering for me.. when i went thru a mind blowing phrase... i dun wanna talk about it... but i went through a mind blowing phrase and 2008 is a year for me to stable down... and get in touch with all things that are important to me...

So for 2009... what do i really wanna do??

1) Be less bitchy and get more in touch with my family.... i used to be like the central communication station but in the recent years.... i am not taking this position anymore.. nt that i really want the central communication station but i hope tht i can spend more time with them...

2) Be a good wife to TFB?.. but that will only be applicable after nov onwards.. haha

3) SLIM DOWN!! I desperately need to slim down to look pretty on my ROM date.. i dun wan eat bread to out shine me (if she managed to slim down)!!

4) Save more money...

5) LOVE DIDI.... (i am a nice yiyi who love didi despite all circumstances)

6) Maintain a tidy room...

Okay.. so i have say it.. now it is time to PROVE IT!.. when we revisit again next year... lets see how many of the items above have i fulfill.. even though point number five is pretty hard to fulfill because it is really freaking hard to love didi despite all circumstances.. but.. PROVE IT!

P.S. I actually quite hate the coming of 2009 because this is the year i turn 24 and it is officially where i am nt young anymore because you see from 12 to 20 people said that you are teenager and from 21 to 23 people will recognise you as a adult but is ohh so young!... but when you tell people that you are 24.. people will just go.. oh okay you are 24... and then 25 and then 26 and people will start telling you at 27... oh you are 27 arh!.. that is quite old.. oh man!