Happy New Year?
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Notice the question mark instead of exclaimation mark.. it is another unhappy cny.. yes another one...
It all started with CNY eve when my mum got angry over i dunno what issues... but i do suspect is because we did not have reunion dinner with her on CNY eve.. BUT she was the one who said that we should have reunion dinner earlier so that the rest of us can proceed to our in-law (for those who are married) place to eat... And i suspect is also because this year she did not get to ask her relatives to come and eat so she is unhappy... so she got angry...refuses to function properly like how a mum should function... and i had to rush down to chinatown at 11pm to buy one of the item for her prayer... and then spend money to get a yu sheng to come back and lou hei with her so that she will be happy for CNY and my dad wun suffer and all of us wun have to suffer...
Then she is happy and everybody is happy yesterday.. but there was some small issue because there is a nian gao frm crytal jade that i have purchased originally for TFB's family... and since that nian gao cannot be kept for more than a week... so i decide to purchase a new one for them when i go over on new year eve so that they can keep longer and at the same time asked my mum to cook the nian gao during one of the friday when everybody is coming over for dinner but she did not do it.. okay fine... then i told her in the car yesterday that please cook the nian gao tomorrow when all her relatives are visiting so that everybody can eat the nian gao.. and then.. her son... has to add in a statement saying that who is gonna eat the nian gao.. Isnt it kinda stupid to asking this question given that nian gao are being sold during CNY.. OBVIOUSLY it is for eating during CNY right?.. and OBVIOUSLY if you have a big bunch of peps visiting ur house you should cook the nian gao for this bunch of relatives because itis a CNY food and since you nd to cook for them then it is no harm in cooking the nian gao right?... It is a stupid, senseless and just trying to find problem with me questions... OBVIOUSLY i dunno what did i oh sorry.. we because eat bread kena from his bitch fits quite often too.. did to offend him so seriously that he has to menopause on us all the time.. then you see him being very nice to his cousin... because i think he felt that his cousin is nicer to him??.. but whatever lah.. i am sick and tired so dun expect me reach him during leisure time..
So today.. second day of CNY... ONCE AGAIN she did not cook the nian gao.. and what did i do?.. i throw it away.. because she told me to keep it in the fridge and if i really do... she will complain to her son in the near future and i can sense that her son is gonna take out the whole set of menopause and scold the bloody hell out of me.. and lecture me on whatever thing that he can lecture me on.. mayb even lecturing me that my face is of the wrong arrangement?.. Given that he can pick on me on soooo many things nowadays then he even said that the number one wrong thing that TFB has done is to know me and get into a relationship with me?... so i threw the fish away... yes... to some extend it is my fault that i should push things that are meant for other people to them because i am gonna buy a new one for them... but it is not that i have not done anything for this family and just anyhow push second hand cheap stuff to them all the time.. So why this lousy attitude from them all the time?... I am tired... i have money.. i am willing to share... i have problem i am willing to hide... i have happiness... i try to spread it around... i have ability i try to gel the family together... so what in the freaking world have i actually freakingly done wrong to deserve such lousy attitude?... i dunno... and i dun care ANYMORE..
But from this and past lesson.. i realise that it might be in the gene of my mum to create trouble during CNY given that her side also always have problem during CNYwhen my grandparents are still alive.. so i realised that given that my temper is so like my mum.. i might just create trouble for my kids and husband in the future!...
I really dun want my kids to be unhappy in the future... like how unhappy i am with the feeling that i am feeling that i have try for all i can to creat happiness and yet i failed.. and all the arrow shoot towards me.. I really dun wan these to happen... i want to give my kids and my husband a normal family.. i dun wanna be a malfunctioning mum to my kids and let them have a bad impression of me.. sigh...
It all started with CNY eve when my mum got angry over i dunno what issues... but i do suspect is because we did not have reunion dinner with her on CNY eve.. BUT she was the one who said that we should have reunion dinner earlier so that the rest of us can proceed to our in-law (for those who are married) place to eat... And i suspect is also because this year she did not get to ask her relatives to come and eat so she is unhappy... so she got angry...refuses to function properly like how a mum should function... and i had to rush down to chinatown at 11pm to buy one of the item for her prayer... and then spend money to get a yu sheng to come back and lou hei with her so that she will be happy for CNY and my dad wun suffer and all of us wun have to suffer...
Then she is happy and everybody is happy yesterday.. but there was some small issue because there is a nian gao frm crytal jade that i have purchased originally for TFB's family... and since that nian gao cannot be kept for more than a week... so i decide to purchase a new one for them when i go over on new year eve so that they can keep longer and at the same time asked my mum to cook the nian gao during one of the friday when everybody is coming over for dinner but she did not do it.. okay fine... then i told her in the car yesterday that please cook the nian gao tomorrow when all her relatives are visiting so that everybody can eat the nian gao.. and then.. her son... has to add in a statement saying that who is gonna eat the nian gao.. Isnt it kinda stupid to asking this question given that nian gao are being sold during CNY.. OBVIOUSLY it is for eating during CNY right?.. and OBVIOUSLY if you have a big bunch of peps visiting ur house you should cook the nian gao for this bunch of relatives because itis a CNY food and since you nd to cook for them then it is no harm in cooking the nian gao right?... It is a stupid, senseless and just trying to find problem with me questions... OBVIOUSLY i dunno what did i oh sorry.. we because eat bread kena from his bitch fits quite often too.. did to offend him so seriously that he has to menopause on us all the time.. then you see him being very nice to his cousin... because i think he felt that his cousin is nicer to him??.. but whatever lah.. i am sick and tired so dun expect me reach him during leisure time..
So today.. second day of CNY... ONCE AGAIN she did not cook the nian gao.. and what did i do?.. i throw it away.. because she told me to keep it in the fridge and if i really do... she will complain to her son in the near future and i can sense that her son is gonna take out the whole set of menopause and scold the bloody hell out of me.. and lecture me on whatever thing that he can lecture me on.. mayb even lecturing me that my face is of the wrong arrangement?.. Given that he can pick on me on soooo many things nowadays then he even said that the number one wrong thing that TFB has done is to know me and get into a relationship with me?... so i threw the fish away... yes... to some extend it is my fault that i should push things that are meant for other people to them because i am gonna buy a new one for them... but it is not that i have not done anything for this family and just anyhow push second hand cheap stuff to them all the time.. So why this lousy attitude from them all the time?... I am tired... i have money.. i am willing to share... i have problem i am willing to hide... i have happiness... i try to spread it around... i have ability i try to gel the family together... so what in the freaking world have i actually freakingly done wrong to deserve such lousy attitude?... i dunno... and i dun care ANYMORE..
But from this and past lesson.. i realise that it might be in the gene of my mum to create trouble during CNY given that her side also always have problem during CNYwhen my grandparents are still alive.. so i realised that given that my temper is so like my mum.. i might just create trouble for my kids and husband in the future!...
I really dun want my kids to be unhappy in the future... like how unhappy i am with the feeling that i am feeling that i have try for all i can to creat happiness and yet i failed.. and all the arrow shoot towards me.. I really dun wan these to happen... i want to give my kids and my husband a normal family.. i dun wanna be a malfunctioning mum to my kids and let them have a bad impression of me.. sigh...
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