Sylvia's World...

Okie.. i have begun to neglect this area again..

Not on purpose... okie!

Brought Her World magazine recently and it is both inspiring and demoralising.... Inspiring because i read about the Badi caste in Nepal and how they value daughter more than son and the birth of a daughter is usually celebrated because they are born into a life of prostitution... Which is really sad because it is their parents who sort of manage them when they become prostitute. Not by choice, but rather the Badi Caste is an untouchable caste and it is not by characteristic of the people in the caste or their choice to be like that but rather it was some rules that forbidden them from doing other stuff and they have to do prostitution in order to survive. It is like a downward spiral for the caste. I mean, alright before the rules, they were roving entertainers, something like courtesans who provides entertainment like dancing and singing during private parties or to rich people for food and shelter and sometimes sex.. but i would have believe that prostitution was not their main job alright! They could have evolve and became a better caste of people involve in the arts and culture, but instead, because of some rules, they became a poorer caste.. sigh...

That is the inspiration that i have gotten, knowing very well that i am lucky that i am not born into a society that is divided by caste system and no matter how poor we are, i was given a choice to do whatever i wanted...

Second inspiration came from horoscope... Somehow the horoscope knew that i am at cross road now.. they asked me to look beyond the immediate future and understand that the changes that is happening now is for the further future or something like that... So i guess whatever changes there are, i will just bear with it and make the best out of the situation and hopefully have a good further future.. hahaha...

The demoralising part came from a very small comment in the book where they were interviewing some random lady about some stuff and you know how they will always display the age and the position that the person is holding? At 27, the lady is a general manager.... Sigh... my mentality is still stuck at 23, so to me, a general manager at 27 sounds logical right? But the sad thing is, my physical age is already 26.. And i have accomplished nothing at all...

Even more angry when the interview asked me that day... "so... it took you 6 years to study your degree"... After i hear that sentence... i can only think of a sentence that Eric Cartman loves to say.... "What the fuck?" Yar.. but not to the interviewer, but rather to me... YES 6 bloody years has passed which in between i spent 4 bloody years being sucked into political unrest situation in the office and other bo liao stuff....

I have really decided that since i have left the office, i will not get sucked into another political unrest situation and do what i am given ONLY... and since i have eliminated all the other bo liao tuff in my life.. i believe that i have more time to live and study now! Aug next year.. i expect an update here to inform that i have gotten my degree.. AUG next year....

That's all that i have to grumble about for now... i will be back again...

p.s. I miss home... i dont miss the people inside other than dad... i miss that home as in the place itself... take away the people except dad inside and i would really love to return there and stay there for the rest of my life...

p.p.s Yes, i dont miss my mum at all.. given that i am the minority who truly appreciates her and has not hestitation in taking the whole world down for her sake.. i think she should be the one missing me instead of me missing her...