Sylvia's World...

you noe the type of feeling whereby you are so tired that you just wanna give up??.. That is what i am feeling nw.. i noe that a normal life is a blessed life.. i noe there are thousands or million of ppl out there who are way way worse than me... but you noe that type of feeling where you noe that there are ppl who are worse than you out there but you are just so tired tat you just dun feel like doing anything at all??.. That is the feeling that i am getting nw... When you tried your best to do something and in the end it doesnt turn out to be the way you want it to.. it is disappointing.. i wonder if my easy going attitude have anything to do with this.. mayb because i know how it feels like to be disappointed when you tried ur best to do something.. so i would rather nt try my best... and if the outcome is good.. as least i can tell myself that hey you see?.. you are lucky!.. if i din make it.. i will reprimand myself saying that.. hey! you see you din try yourbest... this is all better than.. you tried ur best and cannot make it and have to tink and tink and tink bout what went wrong and etc and izzit that when you tried ur best this type of things still happen in life...

I noe this type of attitude is nt good... to tink in my head over and over and over again.. that i dun wan to get up again.. i just wanna lie here and die.. i dun wan to get up and start over again... but to tink bout it.. in life how can you gauge what is good or what is bad?... if i were to stop here... and dun get up.. does it commit a crime?.. It doesnt.. so why cant i??... I have to tell myself again and again to be strong to be strong... but hw can i be strong?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!