Sylvia's World...

Decide to have an early night the day before due to the insufficient sleep we got from the flight to NZ.

Woke up at about 3ish as the heater was getting really warm and the rashes (sustained from speed drinking) was acting up and getting really itchy. Forced myself back to sleep till 10ish the next day.

Woke up fresh eyed and well rested and proceed to the Akaroa town to get breakkie and stopped by this cafe which serves one of the bestest poached eggs I have ever tasted. As the food serving in NZ was pretty huge, we decide to share one meal with poached eggs on muffin, bacon and a cup of hot coffee and chocolate respectively.

This coffee place that we went to, is an extremely geeky place because it is a cafe that offers internet and generally just a geeky place and I was pleasantly pleased with myself because I found the perfect gift in that shop for my equally geeky nephews..... World's smallest kite. Was telling myself that I will get something really cultural for them (no.. not kiwis nor sheeps) but when I saw these kites in a GEEKY shop, I told myself that I HAD to get these for the two fellows because it is just THE perfect gift for them.

After breakkie, we check out of Akaroa cottage and headed down to Barry's Bay cheese and saw the people making cheese while sampling some nice cheese before heading down to Little River Town where I tasted one of the bestest ice cream from their local brand Kapiti. I told TFB that it is very likely that I will fall into depression when I get back to Singapore because breakkie and ice cream in SG is no longer anywhere near good anymore as I have tasted really nice ones here done by people who take pride in their work.

After these sight seeing, we are off on our way to Lake Tekapo where we saw more sheeps, horses, cows, hares, birds, lamas and PIGS! Which got TFB and LGD arguing because insist on the other party as a pig.

Did a pit stop at Ashburton where we had lunch and purchased food products from the local supermaket for dinner as we heard that Lake Tekapo was really ulu. Stop by again at a quaint nice town call Geraldine where we were just in time to see people closing shops. At least we still did managed to shop abit with TFB getting his gloves and us getting some chocolates.

Reached Lake Tekapo at about 6ish where we checked into this really nice place call The Chalet where the couple upgraded our studio apartment to a full apartment with really nice lakeview after knowing that we are a honeymoon couple (yes! we shamelessly wrote on every single of our booking that we are honeymooning).

We woud highly recommend this place to every single person who tell us that they are going to NZ because it is such a nice place with breath-taking scenaries! The owner was really nice in advising us on what to lookout for, which way to drive and even offered their internet to us FOC.

So far, we have bursted our budget on accommodation at every single place, but these first two places that we stayed in was really nice and I hope that for the next few days, we will meet up with nice folks with equally nice accomodation place too!

Next stop... Te Anau where we still stay for two days (include a day trip to Milford sound where LGD was supposed to post as Wolverine) before moving over to Queenstown.

Since our flight was a night flight, beginning of Day 2 was spent in the plane, still feeling really miserable from all the evil alcohol in my body.

We touched down at Christchurch at about 12.30pm and rested for a while at the Long White Cafe because TFB felt that I looked really really really sickly and felt that I will feel better after a cup of hot chocolate. While purchasing the drinks (funny right? TFB felt that I was about to faint, yet he sent me off to purchase the stuff while he went toilet. What to do? Tofu Brain mah.. you dont really know what's going on in his brain.. hahaha!)

Rested at the airport for about 1 hour I think. I am really feeling sickly lah, so must take a break on firm ground. Called Omega (rental car company) for the courtesy transfer which will sent us to the car company to collect our rental car.

New Zealand is SUPPOSED to be in spring going to summer now, but the weather was cold, gloomy and raining too. When we went out to wait for the ride, we realised that we could blow out cold air that was visible (like those 90s Taiwanese soup drama that you watched where the people kept blowing visible cold air?) and the two of us stood there like idiots entertaining ourselves with blowing cold air for a good five minutes while waiting for the ride.

We collected our car at about 1pm and because it was freeeezing cold, we asked for direction to the nearest mall to purchase gloves for me as I felt that my fingers are going to break soon. After purchasing the gloves, water and some snacks, we were on our way to Akaroa as that was our first stop.

Before Akaroa, we stop by a lavendar farm where the boss told us that we came in the wrong season as the lavendar do not bloom now but still entertained us abit by letting us into the shop to purchase stuff.

It was really funny because we wanted to purchase a bottle of lavendar freshen up spray and asked the boss how much was it. He told us he dont know and we asked is there anybody else that he can ask and he told us there is nobody around. Then we asked him how about the in-charge or anybody like that and he told us... he is the boss.. followed by a very embarressed "hur hur hur" because he dont know the price of his own products.

He just hamtum-ed a price and since we felt it was a reasonable price, we brought the spray from him and continued our journey to Akaroa.

On the way to Akaroa, we saw many many sheeps and many cows with some horses, lama, hares, birds and a few deers. We reached our breath-taking logging for the night known as Akaroa, The Cottage which offers a really good lake view and it was a five minutes drive from Akaroa which was a little quaint french looking town.

Unfortuntely the system hang moments at the airport, the walking around mall looking for gloves (hey... it is supposed to be spring going summer you know? The mall was selling straw hats, bikinis and shorts rather than gloves, scarfs and wooly hats) and driving around took longer than expected and when we reached Akaroa, all the shops were closed.

Still managed to have dinner at this not nice place in Akaroa where the waitress refused to accept the fact that we are sharing a main.

That concludes day 2 where I had my first encounter with NZ and although the dinner was not really nice, I am still grateful that I am here and enjoyed day 2 very much.

After two years of "should we go for our honeymoon or not?", we decide that we should just go for it now that we are young with no attachments (e.g. smelly kids)... there are a few places that we have shortlisted but we decide on New Zealand because TFB went there once when he was really young and had really good impression of the place. Since we go together, he's been telling me many times that he would love to bring me to New Zealand one day as the place is really nice and I would really enjoy myself. For a very forgetful person to mention this consistently so many times, I guess he is really keen in bringing me to New Zealand.

Fast forward to 21 October, we embarked on our journey to New Zealand via a night flight that has a transit over at Sydney.

It was by far, the worse flight I ever had.. Not due to the long flight hours, but due to my trying to be funny... - -"'

Since it is a night flight and me being such a troublesome and light sleeper, I thot that some alcohol would help me sleep thru the whole flight without any problem. BIG mistake and BIG problem..

The problem rise because I forgot that I am a uber lousy drinker and definitely shouldnt gulp down a can of volka plus ginger beer within 5 minutes. It was 11pm and we had to transit at Sydney at 4pm and I was anxious to get some sleep before the grouchy monster takes over you see.

My stomach started churning and I told TFB that I need to puke.. which I did into the paper bag provided and tried to sleep. However, the stomach was still churnig and I was feeling miserable with a bad hangover type of headache plus the headache sustained from not sleeping and the churning stomach. So I told TFB that I needed to puke again and this time, I decide to go to the toilet.

When I got up from my seat and walk out to the aisle, my vision darken and before I knew it, there was a moment where I couldnt hear anything. When I could finally hear and see things, I was sitting on the floor and TFB was holding onto me, asking me am I alright. I realised I blacked out.

I assured him that I am fine, although I am really not fine and attempt to walk towards the toilet. I remember telling myself that everything is gonna be alright although the vision around me darken once again and before I knew it, everything went black and silent again. When I regain my vision and hearing, I am once again, seated on the floor with TFB screaming at my face asking me to wake up.

I assured him that I am alright, but he told me afterwards that I look as pale as white paper and my eyes were rolled up showing only whites while telling him that I am alright.

Several kind hearted souls stepped forward to help TFB, went to alert the air stewardess and helped me onto the chair at the back of the plane.

The chief steward came and told me to lie on the floor with my legs up on the chair. We guess they suspected that all my blood was at my legs area (yes.. thank you big butt and big feets) and by lying on the floor, the blood will flow back into my tiny head.

I felt better instantly and they gave me oxygen mask to make me feel better. The people in front of my seat look really shock when they saw me with the oxygen mask. Hahaha!

I had the oxygen with me for the last 30 minutes of the trip as we were doing the landing and TFB was instructed to hold onto the oxygen tank to prevent it from sliding down when the plane is doing its landing.

It was really drama and we slept for only 2 hours for the whole journey.

Drama did not end there as I was singled out for security check at the Sydney transit security point. The guy was not too friendly (not that I expect him to be friendly, but I mean be nicer lah), and I was feeling really unjust because another chinese couple was with us and the girl was not singled out for check. I kept telling TFB... do they think I look like terrorist?!

Lesson learnt from this whole episode? Dont drink and fly... okay change that... dont EVER drink..

You know? Just because you dont want to celebrate father's day with tour father because you are stupid enough to not see ur father's contribution towards the family or the mere fact that you own him a big debt for bringing u into this world and not abandon you.

Doesn't mean that the rest of the world are as stupid or as unfilial as you.

I still very much and very willingly wants to celebrate father's day, thank you.

My goal yesterday was to da bao back a sumptuous meal and get everybody (by that I meant my father's wife, my father's kids, my father's daughter/son-in-law, my father's grandkids) to sit around the table and have a quiet meal together.

Thanks for destroying all that by extending your unpleasant company to us by dropping by unannounced and overstaying your welcome.

Only you all are capable of making it an even worse experience by going away to enjoy urself while you left your never been disciplined and do not allow people to discipline offspring at my house for us to look after.

Thanks but no thanks for everything.

When u are constantly told that ur really special and talented in doing something... And then being told during argument time that what ur doing us actually not special and most people can do it, emptying ur whole pride instantaneously.. The feeling is like.. Ur sitting on a cloud in one moment and then got pushed down the cloud and free fall all the way till u crashed on the surface of earth..

Feeling is nasty, unpleasant and definitely not nice. I have been the underdog for ten thousand years. If u don't find what I'm doing special, don't feed my ego. The worse thing is to feed my underdog ego and making it feel that finally I'm good at something just to be told casually in argument that it is nothing special, slamming my ego to death immediately.

I don't need ur assurance, never in the past, struggled with it in the present and feels that I'm more comfortable without it in the future. If ur haywire and cannot control ur emotion or trail of thots, please don't get me involved and spin out if control with you.

Ur ego is ego... It's meant to be respected and loved... No matter what fucking thots it has... My ego is meant to be trample on, insulted and thrown away..

Sorry is not enough, $10 is not enough either.. Fuck it, I don't even know what can appease me now...

If I keep quiet, don't try and bitchfit on me... I cannot tell you what will happen, but I can guarantee that it will be ugly.

That is the question that I get all the time now that half of the department knows that I've resigned....

Well.. What do u expect me to tell them?... It is very obvious that I'm not happy right?... So difficult to see meh?

Whenever anybody ask me this question, I would have the urge to ask them back this question.. "well, how do u expect somebody who has no lunch kaki, goes to lunch herself, has nobody to talk to during department lunch and gets boycotted by her own team mates just because she is a few years older than them to be happy?"

But because my zodiac forecast asked me to stay calm and watch what I say this year, I decides to let it pass by just smiling politely at them and tell them that I'm leaving to pursue my happily ever after...

Good bye 2011!

I dont think I will ever miss you...

Just like antibiotics that you need when you are sick, you need antibiotics to get well, but you definitely dont miss it, or even love it.

That is how I view 2011. It's a nasty year, left a nasty taste in the mouth, it's a year that I dont want to go through again. Yet, I chose to view it as a year necessary for me to grow up.

Loads happened in 2011 and I dont want to go into details, just as what people always like to tell me and I always dont like to listen to them, let bygones be bygones.

However, I am still thankfu to all the life lesson that 2011 has given me.

It taught me to

1) Love myself more - You use your money to buy people birthday present, when it is your birthday, you hope that the person will do the same. Love is abou the same. You spend that amount of love on other people during their birthday to make them feel loved and hoep that these people will return the favour and make you feel loved on your birthday too. But why do you have to give up your love and hope that you will be loved back? If the person truly love you, there is no need to hope for them to love you. You know they love you. The rest of the population who doesnt love you just simply dont deserve your love. Stop buying pressie for others and start loving yourself.

2) Ignore Others - There is no need to prove to these people that I am smart, capable or peaceful. Why? Because I do not get money out of proving myself to them. Will their accusation of me being stupid and bitchy kills me? No, it wouldnt, unless I let it affect me (which sadly, happened many times). Result of letting these fools affect me with their mindless content? Quicken aging, dull skin and not beautiful anymore. So why comproise my health and beauty for fools?

3) Love the parents.. UNCONDITIONALLY - I have said it many time, never done it before. At the end of 2011, I found peace with myself. For the first time in my life, I am no longer angry with mumzillan for giving too much to her relatives, or her relatives coming to show off all the tie. Mumzilla is mumzilla, those idiots are those idiots. They are not associated to mumzilla in anyway. End of story...

After some reflection, foolish me realised that 'whoever upstairs' did not let me go... Never!

2011 was hard and 'whoever upstairs' knew it, and sent Cottony to me. There is absolutely no reason why I would buy a dog suddently, after being afraid of dogs for my whole life.

This dog is the reason that I managed to get thru 2011 alive. Many times, during the multiple quarrels with the husband, Cotton will come to me with the "Are you alright?" look. I will get reminded that even if the whole world does notlove me, this little white dog here loves me and if i die, he will be very poor thing.. even if it is for a while, his heart will be broken.

I have always believe that Cotton is fated to appear in my life to be my pet at a point of my life, but "whoever upstairs" chose to send him down before the dark period of my life to accompany me.

I am really thankful for that. Cotton is a good dog who has done a good job in accompanying his owners, I beg "whoever upstairs" to let him lead a good ripe old age life and ides off peacefully in his sleep with no pain. By ripe old age, I mean 10 years and above okay?

Okay, in the year 2012, I wish to fulfil a few things and I am SERIOUS about fulfilling them...

1) Empower myself with more authority and not be treated as second class citizen and feel that it is alright anymore. For many years, I have gone with the flow of things and not question anything because I leave everything to life. However, I realised that to fully taste life, you have to take things into hand sometimes and not just go with the flow and accept life without even trying another alternative right? So I shall try and ask and question so that I am given full rights as equal as any other humans and If I am not given and reasons are provided, I wil treat it as the good or bad of life.

2) Be healthy and beautiful. I am serious about this. Perhaps the slimming down even more made me realised that there is a whole lot more stuff that I could do to myself to ensure that I stay healthy and beautiful instead of just relying on my own body to make things happen and maintain itself. Dont be lazy, be more hardworking.

3) Lead a happy life. As mentioned in the above two wishes, you know, to live for 26 years as a ugly second class citizen is no fun and I am definitely not happy. After trying to apply the above mentioned two goals for a while, I realised that I can actually be happy (of course this is inclusive of the changes that I have learnt in 2011) and I am really in a pretty happy state of mind now. I promise not to think too much because thinking will not prevent it and nothing will happen since iti s just thinking. As part of my to lead a happy life project, I am very very very determined to get my degree by this Oct too!

All in all, lets just say that I want to lead a carefree and beautiful life...

Lets work towards a carefree, beautiful and good 2012!

How many of you have heard of me mentioning about my mum in happy tone before?

Many times, when I mentioned about my mum, I am always complaining about her... scolding her... bad mouthing about her... and wondering what is exactly wrong with her...

How many of you know that I actually is a mummy's kid?....... I bet that nobody can could imagine that I'm a mummy's kid...

Did I ever tell you how fortunate I am that despite being born in a poor family, I live like a princess because my mum is willing to exchange everything that she has so that I can lead a better life?...

Did I ever tell you that she is the greatest mum that I can ever have... and I secretly wish that in the next life, I can still return as her pesky little kid and be loved by her like how she love me this life time?...

I used to stick to my mum so much that everybody around her mentioned that I have super glued myself to her.. and I will follow her everywhere she goes...

So, what exactly changed and what made me turn 180degree from somebody who sticked to her day and night to somebody who only knows how to complain about her, find trouble with her, quarral with her and scold her?

You want to know? I am not gonna tell... I promised I will press delete and delete all these bad memories and karma that should belonged to somebody else but was channelled onto her due to her selflessness....

My mum lead a bad life... In fact, if there is a gu cai first gen.. i bet she is that gu cai first gen... Never loved by anybody (except for my dad okay) in her first part of life... discriminated and isolated in the middle part of her life... and still gets discriminated and isolated plus getting bullied by her kids during the mid-later part of her life...

I have always seen myself as her protector, I must protect her from being bullied... I tried to be there for her... because nobody protect her for most of her life... so I try to... but I was so blinded by my act of protection that I hurt her.... really badly... most importantly... it hurt our relationship too...

Something happened to her this year... something really bad... she got hospitalised.. and it was my fault that she got hospitalised... I have never thot that I would see her in this way...

She felt into coma for two days.... and there are ten thousand needles plugged into her body... suddenly.... she look so small... the 'grandma' in my mind has always been a huge figure... and I realised that it is not because she is big... it is because the shadow that she casted over me to protect me is so huge that I have mistaken that as her...

The doctor came, and told me that her life is in danger... She might not be able to pull thru if we dont give her the scan and if we give her the scan, she might end up with permanent kidney failure... There was nobody there... and (in very small voice: old man went blank when i told him that his wife's life is in danger... for the first time in my life... old man's eyes was blank... cant see his processor moving at all)... I had to make a decision on what to do....

After the doctor is done telling me that my mum will either die or suffer kidney failure, I turn over and saw tears falling out of her eyes....

I studied her very intensively... I rubbed her hands for the first time in many years... and tell her 'it's okay... nothing bad will happen...' and I realised that she's REALLY aged alot.... I saw the HUGE brown patch across her nose bridge that I gave her as a hello gift when I was born.. and it drawn on me that I was nothing but trouble...

She had a difficult time while carrying me.... when I finally came out, although I proudly declared that I am born on a sunday, I destroyed her sunday... I gave her a HUGE brown patch on her nose bridge, effectively destroying her spotless face... I am a weak kid, I have tonsils the size of adult's tonsils and get fever when somebody just pat me on the back... threaten and force her to buy feathery fan from Chinatown everytime we go there, showed her doe eye look and emotionally threaten her to buy me all the latest toy in primary school and accused her of doting on somebody else more that me....

And now.... at the ripe old age of 26, I delivered the last blow by bringing her to buy that fatal bread which causes her to be hospitalised...

I have always tell TFB that parents can dedicate their whole life to their kids... but their kids can never dedicate their whole life to their parents up till the day they die... but I dedicate my life to creating trouble for her and I asked myself.... are you done? are you done with torturing her?... are you happy now?...

I called Eat Bread and she rushed down to the hospital.... she couldnt make the decision, so she called her elder brother.... while rushing to elsewhere, i told Eat Bread that if i ever make my mum angry again... she has all the rights in the world to slap me... and if i try to hit back.. she must remind me that I asked her to do so...

I reminded myself that when I see her doing things that I think will make her unhappy, I try to stop her from doing it, in the process of doing so, I quarral with her.. and I MADE her unappy.... if she ever want to do something, she must have done it willingly and happily but because of my own judgement, I assumed that she is unhappy and try to stop her and make her unhappy.... although truthfully speaking, I AM NOT the one who caused her misery... I became the one who caused her all the unhappiness... I stand by my new found belief that if she wants to do something, she can go ahead and do it... i will not stop her.. unless it will cause her injury or death... she has live to the ripe old age of 60.. she should know what she need to do, what to do and why she want to do it... I, have no right to interfere (except if it will cause death or injury)

If she is unhappy after that, I can luff at her..... and tell her not to do it in the future...

Of course of course, she recovered and is very well now except that she need to watch her diet as she has very mild diabetes... and I know those of you who know me very well will think that all these promises that i made will only last me for six months... but you know.... i am even determined to keep to my promises because I know very well that although she went thru these pain and etc.... and sustained mild diabetes... she felt that all these is worth it... if she can pull me back... and everything in the family is fine again...

She is willing to give up her life... subject her body to torture, so long as her family stay close....

If she is willing to do all these.. I think a little mental torture from her bunch of "i really dun like people" luffing at me secretly is fine... because there's always karma for everybody.. you can treat her as badly as you want.. her kids are not useless.... but her kids are more concern about her happiness... and you will be punished by karma, the harder you luff.. you more you will get...

I will not quarral with my mum ever again (minor bitchfitting doesnt count as quarraling, like if she throws toffee across the room, disturb cotton all the time and pester me non stop the whole day)... I will not quarral with her ever again... I will do what I can to fulfill what she wants me to fulfill for her with the rest of my years.... If she can dedicate that type of dedication to me... I believe I can too.....

It started with trying to clarify to my friend on why I am so busy (
Because it took me 1 week to reply back to his SMS) and suddenly, I realized why am I so unhappy with my life now...

I wouldn't say that it's unhappy but more of a frustrating feeling like I am walking in circle n I don't feel at peace at myself at all.. I just don't feel peaceful lah.. No matter what I do or where am I, I just don't feel the inner peace n there seems to be something poking me, telling me that I should go out somewhere! But where????? Argh.....

But now, I know what's wrong with me.. I took on more than I can take... It has to be! I used to lead such a monotonous life with alot of spare time at hand for me to take a step back from life n live as a observer of life seeing things happened but now, I'm so suck into the vicious cycle of work n etc that I am being sucked into life itself n I don't like it!!!

I just keep having this feeling that I'm turning more n more human n it is not good at all..

I have decide that I will stop getting sucked into life n pull myself out of this whole situation before it drains me totally...

It was an impromptu decision to get macaroons today... Woman monthly affair gave me the excuse to buy stuff to cheer myself up ... (=


Was thinking of dessert first... then macaroons and was searching for place that sells good macaroon when i found ET Artisan Sweets... It is hidden in 32 Holland Grove Road, Henry Park Apartments...


When i reached there, i realised that i really love that place! Not the bakery yet.. but as in the whole Henry Park Apartment area.. It is a sleepy little neighbourhood and it is just very quiet and peaceful....


There is a playground in the middle, where there were some kids playing and some shops around and you could see that there are customers buying cakes, repairing bicycles, doing nails and looking after their shops, quietly minding their own business and that makes this place peaceful and quaint...


You know? The type of lazy quiet afternoon, not like weekend lazy afternoon because you know the whole world is not working on that day too and it is official holiday that type of lazy afternoon. But this type of lazy quiet afternoon that i am talking about is the type of afternoon that you could only experience if you are a primary school student..

To you, the world is just the neighbourhood that you are in and you attend morning session in school and goes home at about 1+.. Showered, had lunch and quietly sitting there watching television while your mum works quietly behind on preparing dinner that type of lazy quiet afternoon.. Nothing matters in the world to you more than to sit in your home's living room watching your favourite cartoon on television and you are appreciative of the fact that you are in morning session so that you have more time in the afternoon to catch up with television, naps and playtime..

I think, it is age or it is all the things that i have went thru, that made me want to appreciate life.. I have a really not peaceful life recently and the only time where i felt that my soul is healing is when i went back to my dad's place... WITHOUT my mum or anybody else around... With dad, Cottony and me.. we could sit there for the whole afternoon, not talking at all... Dad playing computer, Cottony sleeping and me.. doing some baking or cooking... and after that let Dad try my cooking.. and even thou it was terrible, he just quiety ate it... and went back for second serving... That heals my soul... gave me inner peace... let me have some quiet moment and reaffirm the fact that somebody on earth could love me so much that my flaws is invisible to him, my good points are magnified and nothing matters to him more than my happiness...

With this random linkage of the serenity environment of Henry Park Apartment to Henry Ng the man... i have decided that i would name my son (if i ever have one) as Henrik..... I believe i would get along well with Henrik... (=

I thot the only feelings that I have when I leave is happiness.. But as the notice is out informing all relevant dept that I'm leaving, the heaviness starts to set in... It's been barely two days that the notice was sent and I saw a couple of concerned face asking me why am I leaving...

Luckily for me, most of them expressed sadness when they knew that I am leaving n that gave me the "hey! Actually I ain't that bad!" feeling...

Then the sadness n can't bear to leave feeling start to set in...

But I have to leave... The truth is, I have hit the lowest point in my life n only I can pull myself outta it... Some people might say that it is good to stay stable when u hit a low point which I agree but I need to repaint my life with new stuff cope with learning new things so that I can rebuild my life again and forget about all the unhappy things...

Yes, I'm crazy.. I love to rock the boat in stormy sea.. But hey I might end up rocking the boat according to the rhythm of the stormy sea n walk out of the crisis alive n more experienced!