Sylvia's World...

Haiz.. this few days... i keep on tinking.. tink and tink and tink.. yet i still cant come to a conclusion.. i guess i had really killed alot of brain cells this few days... i really really really dunno what to do... i guess when life ends up like mine.. it can get pretty sad.. when i am stuck at my this job.. i keep on grumbling that i wan to get out.. fine now i have a chance to get out.. and yet my tinking swing from one pt to another day and nite.. at work i m so determine to get out of my current job.. then when i am at home or alone.. i tink that mayb tat new job offer is not suitable for me...

Argh~ can sumbody tell me.. is there something wrong wif my life or am i just trying to be funny by torturing myself day and nite tinking about this issue.. on top of all the endless frustrating issue that i had to tink about.. now i noe.. that responsibilities is really something that is v. difficult to handle.. I used to tink responsibilities arh.. okie lor no matter how big the responsibilites is.. so long as i am strong willed i am able to handle it.. NO i am wrong!!.. it is only when i start working then i know.. responsiblities is something that is very difficult to handle.. i something really wish that i had no responsiblities.. i am really v. tired from all this issue at hand.. i really dun wish to tink about anything anymore... my colleague asked me did i asked my parents what do i want to do.. i told her no.. my life is my own i should handle it.. actually somehow i wish that they could help me to solve all my problem.. but i know that i shouldnt be adding problem to their life.. therefore i chose not to tell them.. whatever decision i make i will bear the responsiblities and miseries that come along with it.. i shouldnt add this problem to my parents and let them face it just because i dont wish to face it myself..

Well after typing so much rubbish.. i still had not come to a decision.. my friend will always look be v. impressed with me because i will always resolve decision like where to go with a scissor paper stone game.. they feel that i am too childish, but sometime wun it be nice to just tink of something to come out with a decision even if it is a v. childish way.. wat matter is that at the end the problem is solved in a v. simple way.. seriuosly i really thot of coming to a decision of staying at my current job or going to the new one with a scissor paper stone game.. but then i noe that i cant do it.. life is not always tat simple.. but seriously what should i chose??...Stay or Go i really dunno.... argh~.. somebody please help me....

Hmm.. once again i had not been bloggin for a v. long time.. sickening.. i am sick... i cough like mad and my eye itch like hell... argh~.... i had been coughing for 1mth and at this rate i am goin on i sometime really wonder if i will get phenumonia.. it is horrible okie.. and my cough dun really come in the daytime.. it comes in the nite time... i will cough till i wake up and wonder why is my cough so serious.... and Karen got a shock by my cough when we went out that day.. haha she keeps on asking if i am okie.. and i will tell her i am okie.. but Karen, hw could anybody really be okie if she is coughing so badly like how i did tat day??... never underestimate my cough okie.. overall it had been a okie week... i did nothing.. accomplish nothing..

The only ting that i am looking forward to is that i had received a call frm nlb for a interview.. i received the call when i was on my way home together with Karen.. and after receving the call.. i keep on smiling to myself like a mad woman.. haha i tink after the outing on Friday.. Karen would not go out wif me again in the future.. either i cough like mad or i keep on smiling to myself.. haha...
Kie kie that is all for now...there is nothing that i feel like writing le..

Hehe once again i am mia from my blog for a long time.. sorry arh.. very busy mah.. have to work now.. sianz.. haha..

Anyway... getting quite adapted to my current work life.. gettin busier and busier as days goes by..
Well.. tink that is all.. dun really have anyting in mind that i wish to blog about.. been so busy nowadays that i dun even have time to day dream.. haha no lah mayb it is because i am too tired that is y i dun really wish to go and tink of anyting other than what time can i go to bed and SLEEP.. haha tat is like the most impt ting in my life now..
Tat's all folks.. till the next time... q=

Hmm.. havent been bloggin like for donkey years.. just dun feel like bloggin there is nothin that i wish to say.. in fact i have millions of things to say.. but then dunno how to say... i found out that i have been not able to express myself very well lately.. not because i have lost the ability to express myself but rather i just dun feel like doing it..
Anyway have started my new job at a new place... was sorta doing not really alot of things for this few days because i have not receive any training yet.. but overall i m still doin fine in this company.. well it is after all only my third day.. what do you expect rite??..
No matter what it is.. i will stay here for at least one yr before i move on... gain more experiences and have a nicer resume...
My bro's wedding was last sunday.. haha i noe it is kinda late to blog it only nw.. but oh well.. i am a busy person wif lots of things to do.. i guess overall it was quite enjoyable event.. can see that my parents are very happy.. well after all hafin so much ppl cuming to them to flout abou their kid's/nephew/niece achievement, and yet on sunday whereby they can show the world hw good their kids are.. they ought to be proud and happy.. I was not one of my brother's buddy.. but i didnt sleep too!!.. sickening.. because i have to help him do his flash thingy... din sleep till around 3.30 and wake up at around 8.. argh.. still suffering from not enuff sleep.. haha.. anyway.. the wedding was good.. went around helping my brother.. i guess when your house have a wedding, it would be a happy one.. we had a post wedding session at my home.. whereby my dad my mum and me sat down and chit chat.. wif food lah of course... they sorta say that the next wedding cumin up would be mine.. and sumhow i can sense how that they are starting to anticipate my wedding.. haha but then much as i would like to have a wedding and make them proud.. i am afraid i dun have the ability to.. unless i get outta this 'Miss My Prince' phrase, i would never fall in love with another guy, much less get married..
I also found out that.. without the burden of constantly thinkin about him.. my thots and decision are less clouded.. i have sorta step out of this very bad phrase.. and i can slowly feel myself rise to a higher level... i have gathered enuff strenghts to straighten out my life.. i think that for the past few months.. i have been stayin at one place and not move on.. in hope that i will get to see him more if i stay at tht point of my life.. i am afraid of moving on.. pure afraid.. i admit that i am a coward in this because i dunno what does the future lies for me.. for weeks.. i dun dare to think i dun dare to move.. now i have taken my first step.. move outta tat point of my life.. and i found that gradually his influence on my life is gettin lesser and lesser.. and i am able to straighten out my life nw
Not that i know what i want already.. but rather i know how i should go about living my life.. i am more determine than ever now that i wan to stay at this current work place of mine and get a degree.. that is the first step that i want to take now.. subsequently.. i will save up enuff money and open a shop.. should be a florist ba.. haha.. then you all muz cum and buy flower from me kie kie.. q=

i suffered from super duper ultra pms this time around.. i have such high mood swing that i am very much aware of it myself... but i just cant ctrl myself.. i have super duper foul mood.. and i know the reason why i am in such foul mood.. but i just cant ctrl myself... i am amazed by my pms this time around.. haha it is really very bad lor... my mood is so foul that even sittin there doin nothin i still feels angry and irritated as if the whole world owns me something... together with the giddiness that i usually suffered during my period.. i did what i should do in order to spare the world from my anger outbreak.. yesterday i had a super duper early bath.. around 4.. change into my pyjamas... then went into my room and switch on my air con.. announcing to the world that i am goin to bed... then i just idle time away in my room lie on bed and whine about the cramp and pain.. and play computer... in this way i feel more comfortable and my mood is way better.. and i spare the world from my anger outbreak.. haha

But.. today i am still feeling giddy.. and the cramp and pain is like super duper bad.. argh.. i want to go home.. and did wat i did yesterday.. bath.. change into my pyjamas.. and idle away the time.. but cannot i am working today.. help~.. perhaps later when i finish all the work i am supposed to do i will request if i can go home earlier and rest.... PAIN... argh~~!!...

*MiSs My PrInCe*

Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

You Are 17 Years Old

17 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Took a mrt home yesterday alone, well i rather like goin home alone because it give you a chance to reflect and think about my attitude, my life, the world and everything... and i thot of this two new concepts in life...
Concept Number 1
Everybody have a guardian angel.. these guardian angels come in the form of their better half.. i am not toking about just any better half but the one and only true one.. it is only in this better half of yours that would stand by you, love you, care for you and even give up their life for you.. if you truly love someone.. you would be willing to give up your life for them.. for living in this world without them would be something worse than death...

Concept Number 2
I am a poor girl, i really have no money.. i have no money to buy my friends expensive gifts or give them treats to posh places.. but one thing for sure.. so long as i have love, care and laughter, i would be willing to give them to my friends.. any of my friends who need them can get it from me.. I understand that in life, when you were born you would not bring any materistic items with you, but the moment we are born, we bring with us unlimited amount of love, laughter and care.. this things are unlimited.. you can never finish giving this things, so friends, dont be selfish, even to a stranger who are completely unrelated to you, showing some care and concern for people who are in need would make this world a more beautiful place...

*MiSs My PrInCe*

Hmm.. i found out that actually i dun need a reason to bitch.. when i want bitch i just bitch.. haha
went shopping with my sister yesterday.. was in a extremely bad mood.. we were in the MRT there are ALOT of youngsters planting their butt on the seats.. and nobody come forth to offer my sister who was carrying a baby a seat.. that is like.. wat the.... why cant all tis youngsters just stand and offer the seats to sumbody who needs it more than them.. even if it is not my sister i would still say it.. if a youngster fall down in the mrt.. at most he/she will sprain the leg or anyting.. a person with a baby fall down.. the baby might in danger!!.... why cant all this people just use their pea brain for a moment and tink... this is such a bad attitude... i just dun understand y people are so selfish.. argh... seriously either world peace or world destruction soon.. i believe that earth need major self cleansing... i am not kidding neither am i tinking nuts.. but it is just that there are too many bad ppl around the world who dun consider for others around..

Well i have to admit that my tolerant level for everyting is not as good as before.. or sum went up but my tolerant level for some other things went down.. there are other things that i am able to tolerate better than before but there are also other things that i am not able to tolerate as well as before.. haha pretty lame rite.. i also dunno.. anyway settled my job tingy.. dun wan to look back anymore.. once i agree to it i will just do it... and see what kind of experiences i will get outta tis.. haha...

Sianz... i seriously dunno what to do wif my life now.. seems like i have no life.. sickening.. i am gonna miss my colleague here once i start working as a perm staff.. SiCkEnInG...

*MiSs My PrInCe*

You're so intense and passionate - you're on fire!
You want to be an angel or a devil... you can't decide which.

No wonder you seem moody and even a little dangerious.
You've got some major mystery going on, so work it!

Your personality is the strongest of all signs, making you hard to deal with.

You Are 40% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

Hmm did some personality test just now.. haha this is the results...

Your Birthdate: =p

Being born on the 3rd day of the month is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental. There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude. You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression. Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing. You are energetic and always a good conversationalist. You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters. You are affectionate and loving, but sometimes too sensitive. You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

Hmm today is monday the first day of the week.. and i am feelin super duper tired.. coz i stayed up late yesterday to watch a movie.. so is feeling v. tired now.. haha.. feel like z.z.z.z.z.z. coz i am very TIRED arh.. but then i am working so cannot sleep.. tonite i will go home and sleep early.. but then i always say i will sleep early and i end up sleep late too.. haizz.. dun be sad... haha.. try lah today muz try to sleep early.... *yawn*.. not working on wednesday... haizz... dun be dun be dun be sad.. sorry i just leave my finger on auto mode and they will type in whateve they wish to type.. coz my brain is not really working at this current moment of time.. and i had laksa for lunch just now.. tink it is not suitable for my stomach.. my stomach is feeling rather funny now.. sickening... )=

hmm.. havent been bloggin for the past three days.. erm got alot alot of things in mind that i wish to say out.. but then i am tired.. to tired to wan to say them out.. i guess i am really afraid of the future that is y i am chosing the silent approach.. i have sooo much things that i wan to say out.. so much thots so much reasons of why i chose the different option.. yet.. i am afraid i am not confident of the future.. or i just dun wish to move on.. that is y i am avoiding and not talking about it.. would rather chose to remain silent rather than take my usual approach of toking, explaining to ppl why i do this and do that.. just let ppl keep on asking me bout i just keep quiet.. i guess this is because everything is happening at a very fast pace.. from graduating till now searching for jobs.. it is happening too fast.. give me some time.. give me some time to adjust to the current situation.. then i will move on and tell everybody in the what is my plan... haizz.. another matter that i have in my mind is well.. haha always the same matter lor.. haha

Hmm feeling extremely emotional in the morning.. just receive a notice that i might need to go for an interview tomorrow... this indicate that i have to take a major step out of my life le... taking up a permanent job and finally join the working society... doing my temp job now makes me do some serious thinking about what kinda job i wan to do.. i really like it here.. ppl here are nice.. and it is REALLY NICE okie.. but i just dunno what they are doing.. i guess their field of job are too chim for me to understand so now i have to start again.. goin to a place whereby i absolutely dunno the colleague there at all.. haizz.. my cousin and i share the sama same sentiments.. for her case it is because she dunno the overall pic of the org.. so she is not happy working there too.. it just send me tinking about another issue.. are we the so call bunch of youngsters who are very chosy about their jobs.. i remember readin an article stating that nowadays youngsters are like oyster.. i dunno why oyster.. mayb after i refer back to the article i will blog down the reason why.. but then it seems like nowadays youngsters are very chosy about their jobs.. what is their job scope.. their pay and what they are supposed to do.. haha i dunno for those youngsters.. but i guess for my cousin and my case.. we just want to find a job whereby we are interested in workin in.. i guess when you dun really understand the ting tat you do.. that is really a problem.. and i mean what ppl dread most is to be stuck in a job whereby they have no interest at all.. all i ever want is to have a job that i enjoyed workin.. i dun mind running out or wat.. but then so long as it is a job i enjoy i tink i wun mind... i dunno if this is considered chosy or not.. but oh well.. life have to go on.. birds gotta eat, fish gotta swim.. i dun care what other ppl tink.. so long as i leave a honest life.. and treat ppl honestly.. i guess i have nothin to be afraid of...

This morning on my way to work i saw this cat lying in the middle of the expressway.. guess it is already dead.. and then a van ran over it's body.. I feel so sad for it.. i mean.. everything is a life and nothing deserve to die.. no matter it is a human or a animals.. ppl may not feel the sadness or lost when an animal is dead.. but very much like us.. it is alive and a part of this world.. i dunno how many cars is going to run over its body before somebody decide to remove the body away.. but i also cant blame anybody because its body is right in the middle of the expressway.. which is v. difficult for people to stop and remove its body.. Haizz.. lets us all mourn for the poor animal.. may it find peace in wherever it is now...

I dunno what happened to me.. but then a surge of depression just suddenly overcome me.. i think it have sumting to do with my work.. seriously i have nice colleague who are very very nice to me.. but i guess i am just upset wif myself... i have started work for around 1 mth.. yet i cant really do productive work.. so far i have not produce a really good piece of work to one of my colleague and it is making me very upset with myself.. wat is wrong wif me??.. why cant i produce a productive piece of work... i dunno.. guess i am seriously upset wif myself for not being to do work properly.. haizz...

Hmm.. today is monday.. BUT i feel tired...due to lack of sleep.. the weather outside now is sooo nice for sleeping.. but i am working... haha... argh.. helpin i am struggling to keep my eyelids open.. falling asleep soon... z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.

Mayb it is due to the weather or due to lack of sleep or pms but i am definately not in a good mood now.. feeling extremely hot and irriated.. i feel so tired.. i just dunno why.. every week end.. in the morning there would definately be phone calls... y cant this phone calls cum later.. at least let me have a good sleep before disturbin me??.. is it not possible.. and when i start bitching about it.. ppl would think that i am a bitch who is not contented wif life?.. but aint i contented with life??.. i just want ppl to leave me alone when i am in a bad mood or when i am sleep is it tat hard??... argh!!... feeling damn fuck up now...

Well found this post in friendster.... find it very meaningful... mayb it is because i find it very true and i really hope tat mayb sumday, sumhow i would find the courage to love and tell tat person...

If you're afraid to love a person because of friendship, you have two choices, either tells what you feel and let the love take place or hide the feeling under a friendship full of pretensions.It's hard for two people to love each other whenthey live in two different worlds...but when these two worlds collide and become one, that's what you call magic! Love can never be so beautiful without friendship...one leads to another and the processis irreversible...the best of lovers is the greatest of friends!!! I like you because you're my friend,and because you are my friend I care, and because I care, I love you. I don't love you because you are my friend; I love you because I do!Sometimes I've asked myself, what would makeme happy? To think that I have everything else,I get what I want... then I realized it was YOU, too bad 'cause it's you can't have... I can't choose who I'm gonna love, but I also can't just love who chooses to love me...and you can't blame me in choosing to love you as much as I can't blame you for not learning to love me. I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me,so I'll let you go to find him/her and hope someday you'll see that the one true love you're looking for was the one who set you free..."How can I say goodbye to someone I never had? Why do tears fall for someone who was never mine? Why is that I miss someone I was never with and I ask why I love someone who's love was never mine?" Isn't it funny we're trying to catch the attention of the one we think we love; we hardly notice the one we're really looking for was justthere. You don't notice them 'till they are in the arms of someone else...
Food for thought, think of this.. Have you really cared for someone more than you expected?Have you ever tried to love him/her despite of all the pain? Will you keep on loving him/her as he/she whispers someone else's name? Will you???It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love withyour useless pride.When you love someone, don't expect that person to love you back the same amount. One of you willbe ahead, the other behind. It's either you catch upor the other waits. When you love, you must not accept anything in return, for if you do, you're not loving but Investing. If you love, you must prepare to accept pain, for if you expect happiness, you're not loving but using... True love hears what is not spoken, and understands what is not explained, for love doesn't work in the mouth, nor the mind, but in the heart...Love is like standing on wet cement, the longer you stay the harder it is to leave...and you can never go without leaving your prints behind...Don't love a person like a flower, because a flower dies in season. Love them like a river because ariver flows forever... Love doesn't have to have a happy Ending, 'cause love doesn't have to end at all.Never be afraid to fall in love. It may hurt a lot, itmay give you aches and pains, but if you don't follow your heart, in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance. Love may leave your heart like shattered glass, but keep in mind that there's someone who'll be willing to endure thepain of picking up the pieces so you could bewhole again"The cruelest thing a guy could do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall!

*MiSs My PrInCe*